The first Mother’s Day celebration in the United States dates to 1907, when Anna Jarvis held a service at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia. But it did not become an official holiday until Woodrow Wilson declared the second Sunday in May a national holiday in 1914.
Like many people, I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day many times with different ‘Moms’ over the years. I have an especially vivid memory of celebrating Mother’s Day with my biological Mom, not long before she took her last breath and exited this earthly life. I have a treasured trove of memories and stories about growing up with my Mom, some I’ve shared in previous posts. She was a kind and generous woman but was strong and a force to be reckoned with. She was one of the first women to be hired as a test engineer at General Electric’s Appliance Park in Louisville. I know she put up with a lot from some of her male colleagues, but she held her own up until the cancer forced her to stop working.
If there was one characteristic, I’d use to describe her, it would be that she was there for me when I needed her. And she was there for others in our family as well. Everyone in the family called her ‘Aunt Annie’ and she was known for helping others, sometimes publicly and sometimes privately. Biologics aside, I believe that this is a key character trait in women we honor as ‘Moms’. Maybe we should expand our definition of what it means to be a Mom beyond simply bearing a child. I’m pretty sure that my Mom, Anna Duke, would agree.
I’m fortunate enough to have had not one, but three significant ‘Mom’ figures in my life, and countless other women who have supported and nurtured me along this curvy, sometimes rocky road called life. I shared the story of my Mom’s sister, Aunt Lois, in an earlier post. She was the inspiration for our company name and an ever-present figure in my life from early childhood until we became roommates when I needed a place to lay my head down during a particularly rocky time on my journey.
Aunt Lois stepped in when needed to provide me with her love, support and a place to live. When I moved back from North Carolina to Kentucky and found myself without a place to live, Aunt Lois graciously opened a spare room in her home. It was a cross between living with another ‘Mom’ and a best friend. We cooked together, raised a small garden and even took a road trip back to her childhood hometown. I wrote about visiting Charlie Dehart in a post – it was one of my most memorable trips.
The other significant Mom figure in my life was Chi Pulley. I first met Chi when I was desperate for a place to live when going back to grad school. I showed up on her door like a wet puppy, asking about one of her apartments, with very little money and an urgent need. She gladly worked things out and put me in one of her rental houses. Like my first Mom, she was kind, generous and firm when needed. Not only did I become a tenant, but she and her parents informally adopted me into their family. And this happened just a short time before my Mom’s death, imagine that.
I spent a fair amount of time with Chi and her family, including regular trips to their vacation home in Belhaven, NC, as well as holidays like Christmas. I was at the weddings for all her three children and to this day, consider them my brother and sisters. She most certainly fits the criteria of being there for me, guiding me, encouraging me and giving me a soft place to land. And on our wedding day, she and her Mom took their rightful place at the front of the church, the same church my biological Mom helped build. I’m quite sure she was pleased.
So, what’s the point of sharing my memories and experiences with multiple Mom figures? I believe it is possible, and even appropriate, to expand our definition of what being a ‘Mom’ means. I believe it goes beyond the biological process of birthing a child. There are plenty of women out there who never bore children of their own, and yet, filled the role of Mom for many people.
I think of my friend Shirley Matheny, who did not have biological children, but extended her care and compassion not only to her nieces and nephews, but to other people around her. Including me, I always felt at home in her presence.
Unfortunately, the Mom figures in my life, including Shirley, have all left this earth and are in their heavenly home. I can’t send them cookies, but hope that they manage to gather around, swap stories about me and enjoy a laugh together.
I would encourage anyone reading this to pause and think about not only your biological Mom, but those women that have filled that role with their love, compassion, encouragement and support. It’s not always an easy job, but maybe one of the most important jobs on this planet. And if you have one or more of these Moms on your list and need help sending a gift, then Anna’s Gourmet Goodies will be there to help. We certainly know how to bake incredible cookies and brownies, and we understand the importance of the role that all our Moms play in our lives.